Childhood stress - Part 1 of 3 - What is Childhood Stress and why does it matter?
The reality is that this world does not always provide an opportunity to move from an unhealthy environment. Numerous adults report how their experiences with childhood trauma, poverty, and stress affected their outcomes. Some people are highly impacted by unhealthy environments and others attest they turned out “just fine”.
So why is it, that some will succeed, while others develop social and behavioral problems? Researchers attribute having certain human qualities and psychological traits as the answer.
If we teach our child to develop these specific qualities and traits, the child’s chances for success increase. The development of these specific qualities and psychological traits are valuable for life in general. If we think of teaching our children as changing the future, we want to make sure that we are giving them tools for success at the very beginning.
Proverbs 22:6 (KJV) “Train up a child the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it.” This familiar passage, spiritual in nature, speaks volumes to the duties caregivers have in raising children.
If we ‘train up’ a child that child can be resilient and bounce back, and succeed in any environment. Even difficult “traumatic” experiences, such as poverty or chronic stress can be overcome if we build up the ability to be resilient.
Trauma, Poverty, & Chronic Stress in Children:
Childhood trauma has severe impacts on children. Being exposed to violence, abuse, serious accident of loss of a loved one, or any other stressors can be traumatic for a child. Children show the effects from the stress of living with stress and struggle in their behaviors, in the way they interact with others, and in their ability to cope with change. This impacts a child’s ability to learn and succeed in school and in life.
Some symptoms that your child is being affected by stress include:
* freezing when they should act
* surrendering or shrugging it off
* daydreaming
* crying
* defiant behavior
* disconnecting from friends or family
* acting out
* sleep problems
Some kinds of stress are common, and can be positive - like the stress of starting school, or getting a shot at the doctor’s office. Some stress is related to a specific situation and is tolerable - like the loss of a family member or a natural disaster. The type of stress that is really a problem is the toxic stress of ongoing, long-term exposure to negative situations - like seeing or hearing or being aware of abuse in the home, being abused, or repeated exposure to violence in the neighborhood. This type of stress is considered the most threatening for children; weakening the architecture of the developing brain and creating physiological problems.
Infants and children react to trauma, poverty and stress very differently than adults do. For this reason adults often misinterpret the effects of the trauma on the child, believing the child was too young to know what was happening or thinking the child will easily get over what has happened.
We are often quick to think the child doesn’t know what is going on in another room, but that is just how we convince ourselves we haven’t done any harm to them. In truth, children see and hear more than we want to admit, and it takes a toll. Children are sponges and they are collecting information about their environment at all times. They are reading body language, overhearing details without having a good way to process that information, and in many cases they have to re-live the stress day after day.
A child will often become unattached or nonreactive, which can be misinterpreted as resilience. But in reality the impact is detrimental to their development. Infants are more vulnerable than any other age. Young babies are able to detect anxiety and stress from the tones in adults voices. Infants and children are dependant on adults for care, and can become anxious, stressed and/or fearful when they feel threats in their environment. Even that tiny baby knows when things aren’t right in the home.
It is up to us to help our children gain the skills to be able to interact with stress and use it to strengthen them!
TRAIN UP A CHILD…
Caregivers can be parents, grandparents, family friends, teachers and more. Regardless of the relation to a child, all adults serve as educators because we are models. Training a child to be resilient prepares that child to be a functioning steward in society when it’s their time to leave the nest. The earlier we start being invested in how we train up a child, the greater the opportunity for a child to develop valuable skills and traits.
Resilience is made up of a set of characteristics that can help a child overcome the negative effects of stress, poverty, and trauma. These traits are:
- * Persistence
- * Self-Control
- * Curiosity
- * Conscientiousness
- * Communication
- * Grit
- * Self-Confidence
- * Self-Regulation
- * Transition Techniques
These qualities can be summed into one word - CHARACTER. Helping develop a child’s character begins in the early stages of life.
Next month we will explore how to develop these qualities and traits in our children at every age level. Tune in to July’s issue to read “Childhood Stress Part 2 of 3 - How do I help my child build resilience?” and in August we’ll share “Childhood Stress Part 3 of 3 - How do I reduce unhealthy stress in my child’s life?”
